“20 Questions” – Marley
The following excerpt has been translated by Aimee, aka the Cat Whisper.
- Where would you go on a second date?
I’ve never had a second date yet, but I would probably order in, sit outside on the patio, in the sun, of course, and curl up next to my date before drifting off.
- What makes you laugh?
When I hide Julie’s key and she goes crazy looking for it.
- What is your favourite piece of clothing?
My purple collar with the silver studs. I think I look very handsome, if not becoming.
- What wine has left the greatest impression on you?
I can’t stand the taste, but I love to chase corks around the floor when Julie plays with me.
- What is your favourite food and wine pairing?
Hmm… Wine doesn’t agree with my stomach, but I’ll take cheese fondue any day of the week.
- What did you want to be growing up?
Pretty… And, a master of my human servants, which I believe I’ve accomplished rather well.
- What is one of your pet peeves?
I don’t have any pets. What are you talking about?
- What is your favourite season?
Any time the sun shines.
- What are three of your core values?
Cleanliness, a full belly, and curiosity.
- If you were an animal, what would it be and why?
That’s a stupid question, but if I could be a human, I wouldn’t bother. It looks way too complicated and way too much work.
- What’s your dream vacation?
Again, anything involving the sun. The warmer, the better. And, somewhere with a daily massage, four paws are better than two.
- What is your favourite sport?
Chasing mousey, whatever you call that.
- What was your nickname in high school?
- What is your favourite texture?
Twine. It’s great for my nails. And, metal bristles, like the ones on my brush. I can’t stand anything wet. I also like velvet, like the blanket that I sleep on.
- What is your favourite smell/aroma?
My own brand (laughs). Although, I could go for the gamey smell in Julie’s wine kit, the smell of bacon, and fondue are nice, too.
- What is your favourite taste?
Fondue, bacon, maple syrup, freshly whipped cream, not the canned crap that Julie’s dad brings over. I keep telling him, but he doesn’t listen. Humans! (rolls his eyes)
- What is your favourite swear word?
There’s no direct translation, but it would be close to arseface.
- Name one person you admired growing up.
Dave, the tabby across the hall. He only ate from the dining room table and had his human servants wrapped around his paw.
- What was your first car?
I don’t remember what I rode in when Julie drove me home, but I hate her Acura because every time I’m in it, I wind up getting poked and prodded, or stuck with a needle.
- What is the wildest thing you have ever done?
I once escaped with Dave and we nearly made it out of the building, but we couldn’t open the outside door, and the superintendent called in the heavies, which wasn’t pretty, believe me.
- What are you most afraid of?
The vacuum cleaner, but the shower’s a close second. No wait, it would have to be strange men with power tools.
- What makes you cringe?
The sound of thunder. (He shudders.)
- What is your favourite song?
The Siamese song, or whatever it’s called, from Lady and the Tramp, but I appreciate Carlos Santana and his masterful guitar playing. Timeless.
Bonus Question: How did you get your name?
You’d have to ask Julie, because I might have had a little too much catnip that day. Seriously, I think it was because Julie was listening to Bob Marley the day she rescued me from the animal shelter. Buffalo Soldier is still one of my favourite songs. She thought Bob was too boring, and I agreed with her.